WALT write a timed recount about a time when we did something special with our whanau or family.
· when and where you did something special
· who was with you
· what you did (think about the order you did things)
· how you felt and why you felt this way.
By Sam Iffland
Time With My Family
On the 9th of May 2012 it was my brilliant birthday! I was really excited because after school me and my friends were going to Chipmunks. Chipmunks is in Wigram. After school mum and dad picked up me, Devon, Jonathan, Levi and Finnias. There was not enough room for all my friends to get in one car so we had to take two cars to Chipmunks. The people that were in our grey car was Jonathan, me and Devon. The people that were in our red care was Levi, and Finnias. When we got to Chipmunks we had to pay to get in the gate. When mum and dad paid the man the money, the man pressed a bright blue button. The yellow gate opened. When we got to our table we had to take our shoes and socks off. We sat down at our table and opened my colourful wrapped presents. What I got from Jonathan is a card that said Happy Birthday 6 years old. What Devon gave me was a card and lollies.
You are making good attempts to use descriptive words.
When talking about yourself and others, put yourself last
e.g. “My friends and I.”
Remember when there are more than one was changes to were. E.g. …in our grey care were Jonathan, Devon and myself. …in the red care were Levi and Finnias.